02. Strong tea, two sugars

Pint Prices: We begin, as most good things do, with pints. The price of pints to be precise. The price of pints in London to be more precise. Did you know that the average price of the good stuff in the capital is £5.86? I did, because I read it on Pint Prices dot com. I also know that the cheapest pint of Guinness in London is £3.09, at J.J Moon's in Wembley. Now, if you're one of those la-di-dah-happy-to-pay-seventy-six-pence-more types that thinks they're too good for one of Mr Martin's becarpeted everypubs, you can calibrate your digital lagerdar to exclude Wetherspoons and head to The Nags Head in Peckham instead.

Scrimpton: Another specialised search engine now, this time for a tinpot radio show from 20 years ago. If like me, you're absolutely yampy about Gerv, Smerch, KP the K-Man, and little diddle dodders (or, I suppose, if you know what I'm on about in the first place), then you'll love Scrimpton. I heard about this website from a pal down the pub, he said "I've heard a rumour that some guy's gone and made an open source search engine for volunteer-created transcripts of Ricky Gervais' ancient XFM shows." I was exasperated, and said "You're joking, nobody's going to waste their time listening to stories about hairy chinese kids or a fire that didn't happen. Don't talk shite." It started to get a bit heated and we were about to fall out. My mate grabbed me by the collar and put me up against a wall. It was only then that I noticed that he was actually three feet tall and covered in thick, brown hair. It was only then that I realised it wasn't my pal down the pub after all; turns out... little monkey fella. Anyway, good site. Well done n' that.

My Life Through Ticket Stubs: Next up is a visual story of youth well spent. Andy Thomas over at the Manchester Digital Music Archive has put together twenty years worth of concert tickets, from Marilyn Manson to British Sea Power. There's something about this that just makes you think "That's good, that." It's the sort of thing that I wish I'd done when I first started going to gigs. Those tickets have got to be somewhere, after all. I don't know, this whole exhibition fills me with that lovely trancendental feeling I get from listening to Born Slippy after a few £3.09 lagers. That's good, that.

All Mighty Boosh Crimps: Finally, somebody has had the discernment to put all of the crimps from the Mighty Boosh in one place and to transcribe them. Ohhhhh, tooth, tooth, phhhht

Pegster's Internet Patio: This is a gorgeous website. Made in 1996, Pegster's webpage has the tactile wallpaper cosiness of your a gaff. It is delightful in every way; the digital equivalent of watching the Paul O'Grady show as a child with my nan. The laugh of the studio audience. The smell of her conservatory. Strong tea, two sugars. I hope Pegster is doing well.

Alvvays - Lollipop (Ode to Jim) - Central Park Summerstage, NY 6/26/2019: Centre stage this week, or, er - slightly to the right stage, are Alvvays. The Toronto quartet's self-titled debut holds the quiet honour of being the first vinyl record I ever bought. I think they're also named after tampons. Anyway - the inaugural spotlight shines on a live performance of Lollipop (Ode to Jim), from Alvvays' second album, 2017's Antisocialites. I like this for a few reasons, not least because it manages to capture the full whack of the song's dreamy sound, despite the being filmed on a phone (grumble, grumble) from bloody ages away. Seriously, just look at that zoom-in.

2024-12-06